Monatsarchiv: Februar 2010

… actually i still love you …



it’s not you’re looking-like and not your name, not your eating habits, none.

it was the way you looked at me that let me know that you cannot be a „glance“.

it  made  me  certain  that  YOU  have  to  be  more  than  a  dream

übers verlieben ♥

[Henrik Ibsen]

<< Man hat doch nicht in seiner Macht, in wen man sich verliebt. >>

i have to think the whole time ‚bout you. i cannot stop. you are there every day, every minute. i hate it but i love the same time. because you are so wonderful – gosh i do not know you. i’ve spoken around 30 words with you, why ? the hell, why ? my brain is so horrible, i hate it, it does what it wants to do. it is cruel to me. ok, it’s intelligent, but really not in ways of love.

but which heart does perfect in ways of love ? i think, not any ! which heart says in the right moments, „fall in love!“, none. it falls in love when it wants and if it wants. which heart tells you and your brain to forget this silly cow, none. it loves him more than all others. which heart plays with you? none, all are against you…

starring ?!

it was saturday as always. okay, this week it was already sunday 0.45am but that doesn’t matter.

i can remember it exactly, as if it had been yesterday  when i saw him the first time again. with new hair and baggy style. i thought, „gosh, he has changed. his hair are looking great. HE is looking great.“ the third time, i think, he hung out with a guy and a girl. this girl was beautiful and well-dressed but i thought, „what a bitch! just looks arrogant, eww!“. later it turned out that she was his girl-friend. okay, she is beautiful – with two kilos make-up – and has a nice body – no boobs.

the fourth time i met him i was standing in front of H&M waiting for Esther who was using the toilet at the moment. he came out of the building with a friend, he saw my dog and then he stopped walking. he stroked my dog Cleo then he looked at me and told me that he was sorry and that he quit doing that. i wanted to say, „no prob!“ but i was struck dumb – the first time in my life ! he continued asking how i was and for whom i was waiting. i answered and then as fast as he came he gotta go.

at saturday – sunday – i saw him again with his girlfriend. i was standing at the bus stop with old friends of Esther. and then they came. i could only see him and looked at him shortly. but he often looked at ME. i nodded to him but he didn’t do anything except starring. he starred and starred. sometimes i starred back.

i cannot understand. he has a girl-friend, i didn’t do anything bad as he has to star at me and i was friendly but he didn’t react so why did at me the whole time ?

and then somebody should say boys are simple to understand.

a starring guy . world, you are complicated !!

und nicht schreiben

das ist so eine Sache. wenn du schreibst riskierst du einen streit oder auch lügen. du riskierst, dass man mehr über dich erfährt und dass das gegen dich verwendet kann (irgendwann). schreiben aber bringt dir so viele Informationen, meistens gewinnst du dadurch freunde (oder auch feste freunde). es kann dich glücklich machen, aber auch todtraurig, manchmal sogar beides zur gleichen zeit.

nicht schreiben, ja da kann einem so einiges entgehen. du könntest eine tolle Gelegenheit verpassen, vielleicht sogar die deines Lebens. man kann damit aber auch so einiges verhindern, oder einigem aus dem Weg gehen. man kann zu Grunde gehen, weil man vielleicht alles in sich hineinfrisst. aber vor allem bekommt man so nie die Chance, das zu schreiben, was einem auf dem Herzen liegt, man aber nicht aussprechen kann.

so werde ich diese Chance nun nützen und werde einem ganz bestimmten Menschen, und wenn dieser das liest, weiß er, dass er sich angesprochen fühlen muss, etwas schreiben.

ein teil meines herzens, und ich weiß noch nicht wie groß dieser ist, wird immer dir gehören. also pass bitte auf ihn auf, vielleicht brauchen wir ihn einmal wieder.

he called me „princess“ and his „little girl“
you called me „darling, honey and peanut-bunny,..“
but i NEVER was YOUR princess or little girl

… damn that hurts …

birthday is coming ;DD

hej people ,

i'm looking forward to my birthday in 1 1/2 weeks (:

okay i know i won’t get very much from my parents, but that doesn’t matter, because there are my grandparents, my great grandma and all my friends.

in addition i will celebrate with my friends and also family so it’s going to be a lot of fun.

ok, here are my birthday wishes:

  • grandparents: grey converse, a summer dress
  • great grandma: ray ban wayfarer -> here
  • parents: surprise ;D
  • friends: first i’ve to say that those are just wishes, but i would be happy if they fulfill (:
  • „sommer“-DVD, „LOL“-DVD, a nice medallion or some other beautiful jewelry, a bag from H&M which knows my best friends ;) ( but i think of buying by myself ^^) or from topshop, a „marionnaud“-gift coupon, but i think a good idea would surprise more ;) i’ve to add sth: season 1 „one tree hill“ (:

i’ve to go to lunch ,

by all

xoxo loucy

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